For a long time, I believed I was a good leader because I noticed who stayed late, who responded fastest, and who said yes without hesitation.

I didn’t call it overwork. I called it dedication.

I rewarded people when they:

• Answered emails late at night
• Took on “just one more thing”
• Never seemed to need time off

I interpreted that as commitment.

What I didn’t see at the time was the message I was sending:

If you want to be seen, promoted, or trusted — this is the cost.

That message doesn’t just impact performance.

It shapes culture.

Today, I no longer believe that:

• The longest hours equal the best results
• Availability equals accountability
• Sacrifice should be the unspoken expectation

I do believe that leaders are responsible for the systems they reward — intentionally or not.

Here are a few ways I’ve shifted my leadership to stop rewarding overwork. This takes consistency, not perfection.

1. Pay Attention to How Results Are Achieved

Not just that they are.

Ask:

• Was this sustainable?
• Who else was impacted?
• What did this cost the person delivering it?

Results matter — but so does the path.

2. Be Intentional About What You Praise

You can still recognize effort, just more thoughtfully.

Praise:

• Clear prioritization
• Smart delegation
• Healthy boundaries that protect quality work

Not:

• Late nights
• Skipped vacations
• “Always on” behavior

3. Interrupt the Hero Narrative

When someone consistently saves the day, ask:

• Why did this fall to one person?
• What system failed?
• What support was missing?

Burnout is often a process problem, not a people problem.

4. Model What You Want to Be Normal

This one is uncomfortable — and essential.

• Don’t send late-night emails unless it’s truly urgent
• Take time off and disconnect
• Talk openly about capacity and tradeoffs

Culture follows behavior, not intention.

5. Ask Better Questions

Instead of “Can you squeeze this in?”

Ask:

• “What would need to move to make this possible?”
• “What’s realistic given your workload?”
• “What support would help here?”

Those questions create trust and better outcomes.

The Leadership Shift That Matters Most

The biggest change for me was realizing this:

People will work to the level of expectation you set — especially the unspoken ones.

If overwork feels normal on your team, it’s worth asking:

• What am I rewarding?
• What am I tolerating?
• What am I modeling?

Great leaders don’t just drive results. They design environments where results are repeatable — without burning people out.

If you’re serious about retention, engagement, and performance, the work starts with this question:

What am I unintentionally teaching my team about success?

That answer changes everything.